Yup

So, I will officially go into labor at some point tomorrow. The 10th (11th? 15th?) doctor that I've seen decided that the team is tired of seeing me in the clinic, and very helpfully scheduled me for a 5:00 am induction tomorrow morning. So, hopefully, all goes well and as painlessly as possible. I will have yet another doctor that I have never met before deliver the baby.

Things I hope to stand strong on tomorrow:

NOT taking a wheelchair upstairs when I can walk perfectly well (It's hospital policy, but it makes me fell weak, powerless, and ill. All psychological, but still).

NO hospital gowns with convenient holes for heart monitors. I don't need a heart monitor. The convenient hole reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when Elaine sends out Christmas pictures . . . and then discovers that she is somewhat exposed. The heart monitor hole is even more exhibitionist.

Since I'm being induced, I will not pass on the pain medication. Maybe I can sleep through all of the hard parts?

Wish me luck!

Are you still here?

I did not want to go to church today. I did want to take the sacrament and hear the speakers and all of that good stuff, but I wasn't looking forward to the social aspect: the inevitable question "Are you still here?" But I went to church, and enjoyed sacrament meeting, and even primary with the new schedule and the new presidency, and was only asked about 35 times "Are you still here?" "Why are you still here?" "When are you going to have that baby?" And as hard as it is for me to continue responding that I am just waiting, the genuine kindness and concern is really touching.

The baby will come when it comes. I'm just not very good at waiting. I'm trying to be better though--what choice do I have?